Hit Refresh

I know many of you have noticed my lack of blog updates since New Years and I apologize for that. Going from 9 posts in November to 2 in February never really was my plan but I've heard of several previous exchange students who experienced the same thing. Eventually things just don't seem new enough or exciting enough to share, dare I say that things feel normal? 

Knowing that many are eager to hear about even my day to day life I will eagerly try not to disappoint and I will keep writing with hopefully more frequency. 

This year has given me a lot of time to think. These aren't groundbreaking realizations but I think that just being outside of your comfort zone makes you think of other things. Though Sweden is a model country in the world, being here has made me more aware of the world around me and the problems that need to be solved. Maybe it's because I've watched the new more often or that Sweden seems more connected to the world. 
Also you think a lot about yourself when you're on exchange. Everyone you meet is a stranger at first. So it really makes you notice how you come off and how you act and how you react. Coming into this knowing nobody seems like the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself. But it's amazing how hard that is and how you notice yourself resorting to old habits, good or bad. And maybe something you never noticed before about yourself becomes something everyone else notices in this new environment. It's interesting to think about. 
Many people ask if I think I've changed this year. Of course I have, coming back as the same person that left would almost be selfish and unjust. I think I've changed in ways that I myself can't notice. That is why I'm looking forward to what people notice is different when I come home. It'll be interesting. 

I'm also not going to pretend that this year has been a walk in the park. There are many moments of self doubt and questioning. I've never been the most graceful at taking criticism and that, if anything, is my downfall. You come in with this picture of what you're going to do. And then realize that half way through that's not happening. You wonder when you come home what you'll look back on and want to change. I often look back on things and wish things would have turned out differently but I'm too passive in the moment to act on it. 

What's the definition of a good year? What's the difference between pushing yourself and not staying true to yourself?

I've learned how essential it is to get along with people who are different than you. Not different that you in obvious way. But just people who value different things and simply think differently.

So this post is pretty much a hodge podge of thought's I've had. It may be hard to make sense of it all. I'm not sure I follow what I've written. But I thought it was refreshing instead of writing that I slept in, did a lab in physics, ate lunch at a coffeehouse while writing a lab report, then did a chem lab, went to the gym, came home, ate dinner, did homework. That's boring. 

June 25th everyone. Zionsville watch out, I'm coming home.


Jesper, this picture is for you: